He likes baseball? You started watching all the latest MLB games. He loves rap music? You bought all the latest Kendrick Lamar tracks. He has work until 5 p.m. every day? You’re over at his place after work every evening.
At this point, there may not be much of a difference between you and a Twizzler, twisting and turning to shape into the person you think your boyfriend wants you to be.
But, what about you? While women are born as individuals, sometimes the overwhelming emotions of a relationship will send them trying to become people they aren’t.
It’s important to always be true to who you are and to be the girl that your boyfriend fell for to begin with. Here are some tips on how not to lose yourself in a relationship.
Recognize That It Can Happen to Anyone
Becoming the person you think your boyfriend wants you to be isn’t something that only happens to girls who are “weak” or “dependent.” It can happen to anyone. The first tip in not losing yourself in your relationship is realizing that it can happen and how it happens. It’s easy to get carried away with the loving emotions of a relationship and with the happiness you feel when you’re with your boyfriend. If your family has noted changes in you, if your friends always say you’re M.I.A. or always at your boyfriends house, or if you have been replacing your interests with his, then you may be slipping into the whole Twizzler phase. The good news is you can always slip right out of it and become true to who you are again.
Focus on Your Interests and Mix His In
If your man loves baseball, by all means spend some cozy nights on the couch watching a game or two with him. He will appreciate your effort to enjoy some of the things that he likes to watch or do. However, make sure you aren’t simply obsessing over his interests to impress him or just to have more in common with him. Do you love soccer? Writing? Playing the violin? Excelling in school? Then make time for those things. Focus on what you love to do, and sprinkle in his interests among yours.
Spend Time With Yourself
Just because he has time off every afternoon doesn’t mean you can’t make your own plans during the evening. Make sure to spend time with your friends, family, and more importantly, yourself. Plan to get a manicure or pedicure one evening, or spend some alone time at home reading HerMANual and relaxing. Sometimes, you just need some time to do your own thinking, soul searching or just relaxing!
Don’t Be Afraid of His Reaction
Maybe you feel that your boyfriend loves you the way you are now that you’ve conformed to his interests, lifestyle and around his schedule. Is it too risky for your relationship if you start finding yourself and your individuality again? Not at all. Remember, he fell in love with you or was attracted to you before those big game days and hours upon hours at his place after work. The key to keeping your relationship steady is honesty. Let him know you want to focus on some of your interests or that you can’t spend every evening at his place doing whatever he likes. Seeing as how he really cares about you, he will understand that finding yourself again is really important to you.
These tips will help you keep a healthy relationship. One where you aren’t twisting and turning yourself into someone you think you should be, but instead, twisting and turning your individual personalities together to become the ultimate couple. Stay true to yourself in your relationship.