You can’t wait to see him. You talk about him all the time. You walk around with a smile plastered on your face. But as excited as you are about your new boyfriend, there’s a part of you that wonders how long it will last. How can you know?
The answer is that you don’t know. No one can predict the future. Things could always change — on your end or his. Have you ever looked back on a relationship from high school and thought “What was I thinking?!” It’s no different now that you’re older. People change. People meet new people that suit them better. For most people, love is trial and error, and the truth is that you don’t know until you try. Learn to worry less about life’s uncertainty and embrace it.
Instead of concerning yourself with where your relationship is headed, focus on what’s happening right now. Fretting over whether the relationship will last could actually cause it to end earlier than it would have if you weren’t worrying. Think about how much you are enjoying your relationship. Appreciate the little, present moments and take it all in.
Avoid vocalizing your concerns unless you have legitimate reasons to believe you will be breaking up soon. If you show your partner that you aren’t confident about the relationship, he will begin to lose confidence, too. Also avoid discussing plans that wouldn’t happen until much later in the relationship, like marriage or children. While doing so might artificially make you feel more secure in the relationship, it could make your boyfriend feel pressured to say the same things back to you when your relationship just isn’t there yet (and it’s okay that it’s not). Realistically, neither of you can commit to marrying later in life or settling down seriously until you are further into the relationship.
Furthermore, don’t limit the relationship. In other words, don’t hold yourself back out of fear that you are investing in something that isn’t guaranteed to last. The truth is that few things in life are guaranteed, and it’s time to start living before these moments pass you by. It’s okay to make yourself vulnerable and take a chance on love.
Find comfort in the fact that relationships take time to build and become strong. If it has been a while since you last had a boyfriend, it’s easy to forget that the beginning stages of a relationship, while light-hearted and fun, lack depth and can be awkward. It’s normal to feel nervous and question your connection, but trust that, in time, it will blossom into something you can feel more sure of.