The name of the game was MASH. You and your girlfriends giggled and blushed as you came up with the men of your dreams, how many kids you’d have and where you’d be living. Sometimes you hit the jackpot and predicted a future with a sexy husband, and other times you were left feeling hopeless — that was one powerful piece of paper! You knew this game wasn’t really predicting what life had in store for you, yet there you were hoping with all your heart for the best possible outcome.
Try it now. By yourself or with a couple of friends, write up the best game of MASH you can think of. Don’t play it yet; instead, think about the outcome you want. Imagine your dream man. Picture those perfect children in your perfect mansion. Envision your amazing career. Got it? Great! Now rip it all up! Take your game of MASH and get rid of it along with what you think the best life could be. Here’s the thing, ladies: High expectations might be getting in the way of your happiness.
Everyone has a type — that perfect set of characteristics and qualities to define your ideal partner — but you don’t have to stick to it. Limiting yourself to only those special someone’s with brown hair, blue eyes and a love of sports will leave you in an unfulfilling position; staying fixated on a specific type leaves a million perfectly fantastic people out of the running for your heart.
By no means does that mean you have to give up your right to be picky. Women have had to battle through many challenges to get to a point where they really hold a lot of power in relationships — women don’t have to rely on men to make the important relationship decisions anymore. However, if you’re never willing to make concessions for the little things, like physical traits or differences in personal beliefs, then you’re likely missing out. The little details should never get in the way of true chemistry. When they do, you not only cheat the other person but also yourself.
Little things just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But what about big issues like cultural differences or particularly annoying habits?
MASH never told you what to do if Mister Perfect happened to come a completely different culture than you or if he just can’t seem to ever be on time. Don’t go blaming the makers of MASH just yet. They weren’t scheming against you. The thing to remember is this: Everyone is different. Every woman has her own way of dealing with specific situations and coming to terms, or not, with the negatives in life.
There is no cut-and-dry answer for what to do when you’re faced with major issues. You have to trust your own judgment. Just as with the little things, though, you have to consider the chemistry between you and this other person. Chances are if you’re struggling with the situation and unable to just let go, then the relationship might be worth fighting for.
Don’t simply look at the issues at hand. Consider all sides of the relationship. Why are you attracted to this person? Is this issue something that could seriously affect your future together? Does the good outweigh the bad? You know these answers — you just have to take the time to think about them.
And as always, communication is key. Relationships take two to tango, ladies, so get your partner involved in the discussion. Talk about your concerns and try to understand the other side. In reality, this big issue could be solved rather easily. But you’ll never know until you talk about it! Open up, and don’t be afraid to express your concerns. Having a voice in your relationships is so important in leading a happy and healthy life with someone else. Just be calm and confident, and communicate your thoughts appropriately.
MASH was great for passing the time, but those days are over. Mature, honest relationships are so much more than a piece of lined paper with your imagination all over it. Have goals and hopes for your future, but know their limits and embrace opportunities that might not fit your ideal picture. Be willing to take chances for the sake of chemistry, and know what really matters to you in the long run. Women who are willing to try are bound to find “the one.” Be patient. Be loving. Be you.
By: Katie Campbell